Parliamentary Question Time...Listen to this daily with hip shaking and such things!

Argh! Eric Abetz!

Oops! Where are my manners? Make that:

Argh! Senator the Honorable Eric Abetz, Special Minister of State (representing the Minister for Small Business and Tourism, the Minister Assisting the Prime Minister for the Public Service and the Minister for Workforce Participation in the Senate)!

Clearly I've been watching too much "Parliament Oz Style" on TV.

Don't get me wrong. Yes I am a nerd, but no I am not all that into politics. I want to know what's going on, but it is a rare day when I have the time or the motivation to find out. I basically watch political stuff on TV when there is a major issue (or three) going on. Or if there’s a big controversial piece of legislation (or three) being put through.

To me watching Question Time is a bit like watching Cricket. Neither are things I do regularly, and if anyone I know finds out I do either they tend to look at me as if I've grown an extra head or something. I learnt about both when I was in primary school, but unfortunately the retention of useful facts is not great. Mostly I like watching the little bit of human drama as they show close ups of people's reactions to stuff...

And of course I like to try and figure out exactly what the hell is going on! Behind it all is probably a misguided need for some small degree of patriotism. Well, that goes for the cricket bit at least. I've figured out most of the main rules for Cricket, but as for the senate I have only figured out basic things which are undoubtedly covered in politics 101. Here are the three main things beginners such as myself, immediately realise:

"Point of order" - It seems that any time you want to interrupt the senator who the question was asked to, you can pretty much just go right ahead. Any time a senator is asked a question they will of course answer it like a politician. This means that a Point of Order pertaining to relevance will always be, uh, relevant.

"Mr President" – When a senator wishes to say something to someone on the opposition while “answering” a question, they may do so as long as they say “Mr President” in every sentence. This is the main way in which a senator can engage in a bit of small minded political point scoring while maintaining the honourable disposition which their position requires.

"I withdraw" - You can say pretty much anything nasty you like about someone on the other side when you have the floor, as you will merely be asked to withdraw the comment. When asked to withdraw you immediately say "I withdraw" with no emotion in your voice whatsoever. Everyone knows that you meant everything you said, but it looks a bit better this way for the kiddies in the gallery on their school excursion.

Back to Eric Abetz… Last week I would have had no idea who he was if you'd asked me. Although I may have gone, "I think I've seen his face before..." if for some obscure reason you'd shown me his photograph. Not that he actually looks like that anymore...

Anyway, back to the entire point of this entry.

He’s a little bit pompous isn’t he?