“There ain’t no sanity clause”

Ok, you know I love you and all that stuff. I’m usually pretty easygoing when it comes to Xmas gifts. I’ll go along with almost anything, because I’m a sucker for that whole “It’s the thought that counts” crap.

However, I’ve got a little list here of things that I really really don’t want. In fact I’ll probably never speak to you again if you give them to me. Even if you think they would make an hilarious joke gift, don’t do it. It wont be funny, and you will look like an idiot. Trust me on that, it’s something I know a lot about.

Any of the following gifts would say to me that not only did you put no thought into the gift, you clearly have no brain and wish to let me know that you secretly hate me:

- Personalised number plates with Tweety on them. I saw someone with them today. I had to talk myself out of ramming the back of her car.

- Anything else with Tweety on it. He’s a little yellow bastard.

Actually that’s probably about everything. As I said, I’m pretty easygoing.