"The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see!"

The next time I post I will have started my new job! I’m pretty damn excited! I'll be working for some people that I've known for quite a while, so it's not quite as scary as starting most new jobs.

I had this free session with a “Life Coach” guy this morning. Did a bit of a mind map about my career aspirations and the way I think about things. It’s one of those things that I wouldn’t normally go and do of my own accord, but it turned out to be really good.

I haven’t told my dad about the new job yet. I’m a bit worried about how he’s going to react. Not that it’ll be some dramatic issue, he’ll just be a bit “oh… I thought you were going to do something else” in a disappointed and confused voice.

I was raised by guilt fairies. They are all powerful.

My parents never deliberately put pressure on me to succeed, but the fact that they made a lot of sacrifices so that I could go to a good school kind of implies it. Dad’s always had the attitude of “you can be anything you want to be!” Which, at face value, doesn’t seem like it should be a problem at all. It’s a whole lot better than “you’re a loser, why do you even bother?” which a lot of other people have to deal with.

The fact that right now I want to do a job that someone straight out of high school could do doesn’t really fit in with his plans. In “you can be anything you want to be!” the “anything” bit refers to a nice respectable and stable job, with a healthy salary. Not physical work outdoors which is a bit more risky, and (in his mind) probably won’t lead anywhere.

I do have plans, and this job fits in with them. They even involve that degree I did a few years ago, which should please him. The problem is that I don’t want to share them with him, because he’ll immediately find the holes in it. He doesn’t do it on purpose. He’s just trying to help. Unfortunately his way of trying to help is by engaging with his fear of failure and pointing out all the ways that it could fail.

Wow, I started off all happy and positive, and now I’ve gone all self reflective and down…

Yayayayayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! New job!!!!!!!

Phew, that’s better.

I’ll tell dad once I’m settled in a bit I think. Yep. Avoidance. Good clean healthy response to a problem…

YAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAAAAAY!

NEW JOB!!!!!!!!!