Schoolies week: I'm not social, just a good drinker

Actually the title is a portion of my daily dose of gibberish. I hardly ever drink. Plus it's probably a misquote of the actual song lyric...

Ah, Aussie culture! Finish school and head to a naff tourist trap for the rite of passage that is Schoolie's week! Binge drinking and sleeping with random strangers. The carefree days of youth!

Of course some idiot talkback radio guy is on some kind of crusade to have the whole thing shut down just because his son got “King Hit”.

And the headline reads:

Talkback Radio Host Uses Son’s Assault to Further Career

There are several obvious questions here. Such as, if it’s all so dangerous and everything why did John Miller let his son go in the first place? Surely he can’t claim he didn’t realise what it was like.

Oh no, he wouldn’t need to do that. Silly me! He’s a talkback radio host, he can go off about anything he likes with none of the normal rules applying…

I guess as a cultural tradition it is probably better than being married off in exchange for a couple of goats. The best difference being that you can choose what kind of schoolies experience you have. Mine (7 years ago!!! Yes I am an old old woman now!) was basically just relaxing near a beach (which I think is much better than relaxing near a beech, but then I'm not much of a botanist).

I remember watching a strange SBS movie (yes yes, tautology again) where ghosts possessed people so they could have sex. Strange what you remember really.

Don’t get me wrong, that wasn’t the highlight of the week or anything!

Actually I should claim to have been such a wild party animal that I can’t remember anything.

Nah. No-one would believe it! I’m such a nanna! I mean, "party animal"??? Who says that anymore?

I love watching the TV news coverage of schoolies! I imagine the news crews searching out the teenager making the biggest drunken-yob-style idiot of themselves…

I bet the stations compete. The most outrageous embarrassment wins! Sprawled on the beach, yelling indecipherable obscenities at the camera, looking messy and inebriated…

I also imagine the poor parents staring at the screen hoping not to see their kids!

Hang in there mums and dads!